last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
