So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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