What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
My vagina is officially offended.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
