you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
