I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
