if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
