Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
How's work?
Spinning.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
