Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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