Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
