"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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