brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
