Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
this just has baby written all over it
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Randomize
