I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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