between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
