I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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