Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Drunk is a universal language darling
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