I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
