Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
