there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
