Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
