Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
