I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
