All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
