I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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