It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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