I'm so fucking centered right now
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
