she was so not down for the gang bang
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
