Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
