Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
