So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
