it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
