WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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