New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
