Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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