Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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