Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
