Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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