Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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