Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
