You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
