HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
