You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
