you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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