Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
NoShamevember. You game?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
