If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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