Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
