No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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