Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
