Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
