after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
